Hits

Axis of time going from left to right. Many dots are on the screen, which are labelled "Average", while a few "x"s are labelled "Hits".

Do the work. Don’t wait for the hits, because you don’t know when they are coming.

04 Mar 2022

Functional

A researcher pours their input into a monstrous constraption which is their code, complete with dead ends, snaking pipes, and dials. The scientist says, "At least my code runs!"

This is what I say before showing my code to others.

02 Mar 2022

Cite

A researcher sitting at her desk, on her laptop. "Time to find the most outrageous and far-flung references to cite in my introduction."

This is a one-way process. I suspect there aren’t too many times researchers take out far-flung references.

28 Feb 2022

Future Work

A paper which ends with, "...expanding the model and performing a detailed perturbative analysis may be an interesting direction for future work." Caption: When you have no idea of what to write (and have no intention of doing it).

The only thing that beats this is when I see a citation that references future work you’re planning to do, but it’s almost impossible to ever find it.

25 Feb 2022

Set Path

Points A and B, with a very circuitous path connecting them, with the label, "I found a path and I'm sticking to it!" A more direct path has the label, "Potential for optimization."

This isn’t just an issue of unknown information. How many times have you switched methods after realizing there’s a faster way? We are set in our ways more than we would probably like to admit.

23 Feb 2022

Random Bits

A scientist at his desk, with a Geiger counter and a nuclear source. Caption: I'm serious about my random bits.

“I’m not just going to call NumPy!”

21 Feb 2022

Map

First panel: The supervisor gives their student a map and says, "Now you're ready to start your research. Here's the map." Second panel: The supervisor walks away, saying, "Let me know if you find anything!" Third panel: A close up of the map as the student opens it. It's Map 1 of 99, shows one spot where the supervisor has looked, and everywhere else is filled with question marks.

“What did you think this would be, painting by numbers?”

18 Feb 2022

Dead Ends

A map from point A to B, showing various attempts to get there. Each path ends at an "X" before B. Caption: The low points of research.

And just before each “X”, you think that this finally might be the one…

16 Feb 2022

First

A line graph showing the frequency of saying, "Oh no, you go first.", with it increasing to the right. On the left, there's "In person". On the right, there's "Virtual calls".

You either have everyone talking at once, or very long and awkward silences where nobody wants to speak in fear of talking over each other.

14 Feb 2022

Conveyor Belt

Left panel (What we want): A person looks at their blackboard filled with scribbles and says, "Tell me the truth, math!" Right panel (What we get): A conveyor belt representing mathematics, with the assumptions as the input and the implications as the output.

In plain terms: Garbage in, garbage out.

11 Feb 2022

To the past To the present